How do you talk to yourself in front of the mirror? Do a series of self-sabotaging comments about yourself bombard you? “I’m too big”, “this makes me look old”, “I can’t believe this doesn’t fit right anymore”. 

When I work with my clients, not only do we revamp their clothes and put a good looking wardrobe together, I use my training and experience in NLP coaching to get to the root of what’s going on. 

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Think of it this way: 

Neuro =  your mind and your beliefs

Linguistic =  the words we use

Programming = how we are programmed to operate

All of this creates our reality. Our beliefs + our words + our actions = our reality

What I’ve learned through my training and seen evidently in myself and clients is that our beliefs dictate our life’s outcomes. In fact, the ages of 0-7 are considered the imprint years — years in which we are a complete sponge and have no ability to reject the information we receive. Isn’t that wild?

Many of the clients I work with reflect on age-old beliefs about their body image or style that were implanted in them as children. Not being able to wear the colours they wanted, being told they were too big, too small, having their hair fussed over, etc. 

Consciously, we may feel like we’ve moved on from these stories — unconsciously, however, they are running the entire show behind the scenes. This manifests in many ways when it comes to our self image and style:

  • Only shopping at certain stores
  • Not wearing any colour to remain unseen
  • Wearing only colour with fear of being overlooked 
  • Wearing baggy clothes because of body shame

Often times, what is more important than going on a shopping spree and grabbing the trendiest finds, is doing the internal work, releasing old internal beliefs and syncing up new ideas, new perspectives and beliefs about your worth, both internally and externally through your style.

The good news is, these old beliefs are actually not so hard to get rid of — the tools of NLP coaching equip practitioners to work with clients to remove them at deeper levels. That is really where the transformation happens! In fact, the best compliments I’ve received, after doing the internal and external work are rarely about just my clothes — it’s my energy or aura, the feeling of being around someone who is in sync.

I challenge those I work with, those who come across my website, or social media to think beyond trying to just be stylish or to go spend hundreds of dollars on new clothes. First, reflect and better understand those thoughts and beliefs running throughout your life. How are they impacting what you wear everyday? 

When you master your mindset, everything really does magically fall into place — now that’s how you have perfect style!

Anthony Tomizza

About the Author

Anthony Tomizza elevates creatives to own their inner icon by stepping into their most authentic expression through de-conditioning identity to unveil their true style. He provides not just a Queer Eye Tan-inspired makeover of your closet and fashion but also the 1:1 Karamo-style coaching. Together, allowing creative expression to flow for icons to gain visibility by elevating their image.